Of Mice and Typical Men

squirrel

This story was several years ago, and I’d like to tell you that I learned from the experience but Nikki would tell you otherwise. I still have a bad habit of assuming that I know what is going on, and that others are exaggerating.

Nikki called me at work one day to tell me that there was something alive in our stove vent. I (being a man and knowing these things) explained to her that it was probably just a little mouse and everything would be fine. She wasn’t satisfied with that, and was certain that whatever beast was in there was most certainly larger than a mouse. I left work grabbing my cape on my way out the door, off to save the day.

First thing I did when I got home was give the vent a little knock. The noise that I was answered with was NOT a mouse. I immediately started thinking, badger, lynx, wolverine, wolf, possibly a rogue bear. We were living in Alaska at the time, so all of these were plausible.

I called the building manager and explained the situation. He calmly tried to put my mind at ease, by explaining that it was probably just a mouse (apparently we read the same how to be a man book as I did).  He came over and quickly retracted his original theory. Now convinced that is was the cat from the upstairs neighbor, he pulled back the vent. I instinctively stepped back, thinking there was no reason for both of us to be mauled by the bear. He pulled it back just enough for a squirrel to pop it’s head out. He quickly closed the vent and we went to plan B.

Plan B started with me repairing a fishing net with a shoe string and opening the sliding glass door. I held the net, nerves of steel, muscles taught ready to spring into action. He pulled the vent back and the squirrel-bear hybrid creature flew out of the vent missing my throat my mere inches. Dazed and confused it sat under the kitchen table trying to get it’s bearings. I leaped (this would later be described as panicked flailing by Nikki) at it, and it took off out the open door, never to be seen again.

Moral of this story – Women know what they’re talking about, men don’t know everything, and you can’t catch a squirrel-bear in a fishing net.

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37 thoughts on “Of Mice and Typical Men

  1. Great story. About ten years ago a squirrel got in the house here, just a little guy (Red Squirrel – about half the size of the Grey). At that time we (my dad and I) had a dog and a cat, both with well developed hunting instincts. The Squirrel seemed to be aware of the hazard and was very fast. So, two humans trying to catch the squirrel while not tripping over the excited hunters trying not to collide with each other. Lucy and Ethel would be proud. Finally, Squirrel stopped to rest on a desk and was trapped under a Tupperware. With a piece of cardboard slipped beneath, he was escorted to the door.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. “the squirrel-bear hybrid creature flew out of the vent missing my throat my mere inches”

    ROFLMAO!!! *Sliding out of my chair to the floor*

    PRICELESS!! DEFINITELY sharing this…when I can breathe again! LMAO!

    Liked by 4 people

  3. My eldest son walked in to find me busting up, giving me an odd look. The only way to explain was to read it to him. He thought for sure when you “held the net, nerves of steel, muscles taught ready to spring into action” you were gonna run right out the sliding glass door! LOL – thanks for making us both laugh! (found you through Felicia Denise’s re-post).

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I had to check the by-laws because you came dangerously close to forfeiting your man card by publically admitting that men don’t know everything. Fortunately, this slip was preceded by a heroic and selfless Man vs. Nature act. But this was a close one 😉

    Its gonna be fun to follow along here.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Lol, the title itself made me assume it was a piece related to the actual book ‘of Mice and Men’, which is what intrigued me to enter to read the entire post.

    Lol a good laugh and thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I was imagining the whole thing while reading! …didn’t know you belong to the superheroes league hehe!
    Yep, I agree 101% that we women know what we’re talking about! 😁😄

    Like

  7. Hello Steve!
    As an Aussie it was an enjoyable story of life in a far away land!
    Lucky you grabbed your cape on the way out of the building to investigate at home…
    a happy result for all concerned, I’d say.
    Lovely post thank you 🌟🌟

    Like

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